Enter the Drama Triangle

 

The Drama Triangle was first described by Stephen Karpman in the 1960s. 

It is a model of dysfunctional social interactions and illustrates a power game that involves three roles: Victim, Rescuer, and Persecutor, each role represents a common and ineffective response to conflict.  

The journey around the triangle can be done with self or another, such as a spouse, child, co-worker, and so on. Any relationships you have you can enter the Triangle.

 Most of us are neurologically programmed to play these three roles, and we consciously or unconsciously choose one role given the particular context. 

 

We will either play the role of the Rescuer, The Victim, or The Persecutor.

 

The Three Roles Explained 

 

Victim – “Poor me.”

Victims often feel victimised, trapped, helpless and hopeless. They think they are at the mercy of life. They are unwilling to take responsibility for their undesirable circumstances and don’t think they have the power to change their lives.  

Victims assume themselves as powerless or incompetent and blame on Persecutors (can be other people or a particular situation). They always seek for Rescuers to solve the problem for them. If the Victims continue to stay in the ‘dejected’ stance, it will prevent them from making decisions, solving problems, changing the current state, or sensing any satisfaction or achievement. 

 

Rescuer – “Let me help you.” 

Rescuers constantly intervene on behalf of the Victims and try to save Victims from perceived harm. They feel guilty of standing by and ‘watching people drown’. They are there at the ready with the life ring

Rescuers may have all the good intention and strive to ‘help’ other people as they see necessary. They fail to realise that by offering short-term fixes to Victims, they keep Victims dependent and neglect their own needs. This is why Rescuers often find themselves pressured, tired, and may not have time to finish their own tasks, as they are busy fire-fighting for the Victims as they arise! 

 

Persecutor – “It’s all your fault.” 

Persecutors are like ‘Critical Parents’ who are strict and firm and set boundaries. They tend to think that they must win at any cost.  

Persecutors blame the Victims and criticize the behaviour of Rescuers, without providing appropriate guidance, assistance or a solution to the problem. They are critical and good at finding fault, and control with order and rigidity. They keep the Victims oppressed and sometimes can be a bully. 

Now you are aware of the Drama Triangle and the roles in the triangular setting. So are you a victim, a rescuer, or a persecutor?  

 

If you’re human, chances are you may see yourself or be seen by others, as all three in different scenarios. 

It is important to point out that the players in the Drama Triangle may switch roles during a mind game, and if anyone in this triangle changes roles, the other two roles change as well. 

 

Example 

Below is a fictitious example which demonstrates the Drama Triangle in motion and the way players move from one role of the triangle to another.  

 

Mick: Shaz, the Programme  Report is due at noon today. Could you please send it over to me as soon as possible? (P) 

Shaz: Shit! I haven’t done it yet, I wasn’t sure what is required, and I have been overwhelmed with the other priorities for my programme. (V) 

Mick: The request and report template were sent to you last week. If you were not sure about the requirement, why didn’t you ask? One job Shaz, one bloody job (P) 

Shaz: I was overwhelmed and didn’t have the capacity. (V) 

Mick: It is already 10 am now, can you pull something up for your programme quickly? (P) 

Shaz: Mick, what information do you need from our programme? (R) 

Mick: The standard – programme, programme highlights, key risks and issues, milestones and dependencies. (R) 

Shaz: We produce quite a few programme reports for the portfolio already. Can’t you just tweak the information to get what you need? (P) 

Mick: Do you know how many programme updates I have to collate for the portfolio updates? (V) 

Shaz: Honestly, I think the status report is an overkill! (P) 

Shaz: Never mind, give me half an hour. I will update the status report and send it over. (R)  

And the conversation can go on indefinitely, so are the chances of the roles. 

 

Whilst the triangular role play example above may not be all bad, It can lead to friction and conflicts and detrimental for people involved.

 

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